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Landed.
Not enough snow for my taste.
More, more, more.

Why do I always pshyc myself out?
Never listen to weather forecasters - they're liars.
I think becoming a meteorologist was the fall-back plan for them when their daytime-soap-opera-acting gig didn't go through.
They enjoy the drama and craze of telling people to prepare for the worst ... but it never happens.
Grr.
The eight inches Eastern Iowa was supposed to receive between today and Christmas has turned into two inches ... maybe.

But, I'm here. At home. With the family.
And, it's like I never left.

After being picked up from the airport, I drove to Iowa City to see one of my best friends, Jessie Behnken. We made fun of people at the mall, went to Target and lunched at Chili's.
I drove up to Manchester, saw all the sibs and we decided to head to the grocery store.
I must be too silly for the conservative population of Manchester because I caused scene after scene in that dinky store.

I had all five of us drive one tiny cart.
We blocked multiple aisles at one time. I bumped into another woman's cart, but said sorry for drinking and driving - she didn't find it funny.
I hit on some employees - the checkout girl wasn't into me. I guess I came on too strong ("So, do you go here?").
I was wearing skinny jeans and my New Balance 578's (kind of chunky), a look that won't be a trend around here for another five years (people still wear carpenter jeans, granted some may actually be carpenters).
My kid-sister, Anna said, "Can we get out of here? People are criticizing you."
But I took it in stride - is it bad I kind of love it.
Sure, call me a fag or frown disapprovingly - ya'll can blow me, because I'm with my favorite people in the world, and we're having fun. I'm one of the few who actually made it out of this town, so when I come back, you know I'ma shake it up!
We ended the night w/ a chicken dinner, piano duets and played Apples to Apples: Bible Edition (Virgin Mary took the round when the green card was 'hot.')

Mom gets a little decoration crazy around the holidays ... I think she holds the Guiness World Record for largest snowman collection.
The front porch has two lawn snowmen, made of tin, wishing you Happy Holidays.
Upon entry through the front door, another smoking a pipe - this one is stuffed.
Some snowmen hold candles, some are stitched on throw pillows.
Some are of fabric, some glass, some of porcelain.
They're never alone though. Each one has a partner, or is part of a group ... like a gang that'll shank you while you sleep.
There's even a wooden snowman, all country-craft style on my headboard in the guest room.
I didn't sleep well with him watching me ... I made a note in my phone to remove him before bed tonight.

I'm sure the images I've described make the interior of my childhood home sound tacky ... that's not the case. It's cute ... everything falls w/in the country-craft decor. Maybe that's only a popular decorating technique in rural Iowa. I don't know ... but in neighboring communities, there are entire stores and shops dedicated to the stuff. Places so jam-packed with wooden signs w/ warm sayings (Live|Laugh|Love, 'Home is Where the Heart is,' 'It takes a lifetime to grow old friends) and my favorite - country stars.
Mom also holds the world record for most country stars in one house.
But it must be genetic to be obsessed w/ having the air around you drenched with aroma.
Multiple candles are flickering at all times. And almost every wall outlet has a Glade plug-in.
For those that know me, I too do this.

School was canceled this morning so all of us kids, Mom and Aunt Karie went to "Hey Jude's Cafe" for breakfast ... I had french toast and scrambled eggs ... saw my ladies at Studio 117 and got a haircut. Then we watched Mean Girls in the mini-van while Mom went grocery shopping.

There isn't soft enough snow to sled just yet, so those asshole weather people better get on their mark and make it snow.

Flightplan

In roughly five hours, I will be heading North to Iowa to spend the holidays with my family. I love traveling and have no qualms with traveling solo - I actually prefer it. But the one thing I hate about traveling is airports. I try my hardest to remain calm and low-key. I've been traveling by plane for as long as I can remember - flying alone since age fourteen - and nothing has ever gone wrong.
No lost luggage. No missed flights. No absurd turbulence ... it's always been smooth sailing. But I know better. I know my time is coming. That's why I almost always never sleep the night before my flight. For instance, it's nearly 2:30 AM and I'm still awake. I have this minor paranoia about missing a flight or being unable to get through security.
But as I said before, I try my hardest to remain calm. I especially like to wear sunglasses once I've reached my gate and people-watch. I'm not big into karma, but I laugh too much at the crazies sprinting through the terminals for it not to happen to me sooner or later.
Well, this upcoming flight has me a little more worried than normal - it's currently snowing in Iowa. And all forecasts suggest it doesn't plan to stop.
My connecting flight to Cedar Rapids is in Dallas - and if I'm stuck there, Rachel and Renee, get ready because I'll be spending Xmas w/ you!

A couple winters ago, on Christmas Eve, my grandparents hosted an extended family Christmas gather and a blizzard kept everyone from leaving. Luckily my grandma is always stocked, supplied and prepared. We watched movies, made so much food and it actually ended up being a fun time reconnecting w/ family.
So long as I arrive in Iowa safely, I'll be okay w/ any other winter weather - I miss the snow and really want to go sledding and skiing!

A little about my hometown of Manchester, Iowa:
The population is 5,500 - about the same size as some of your high schools.
The tallest buildings in the community are silos - they dry corn.
There's a single-screen movie theatre - it operates on a volunteer basis.
The community is totally involved with the school, named West Delaware Schools - the mascot is the hawk and our fight song replicates the University of Iowa's.
Strangely enough, the best Chinese food I've ever had is in Manchester - Choung Garden is downtown, my sister works there. Order the Princess Chicken w/ a half-order of crab rangoons.
Allegedly, there's meth labs. IDK.
Good luck finding paved roads outside city limits. Gravel, baby.
Remember dial-up internet (this kills me)?

As small and boring as the town may be, I still really enjoy coming back.

I have three family Christmas' to attend, otherwise my time will be spent with the siblings and catching up w/ a few good friends - and eating all the homemade food I can pack in!!
I told everyone I didn't deserve gifts this year, so I'll be sure to share what I received - if anything! Honestly, the plane ticket was enough for me.

More to come about my holiday week up North!

That's a wrap

Today, I wrapped a short film entitled, "Brotherhood."
I portrayed the supporting role of Mason - a young, wannabe skin head in the late 70's in prejudice Texas.
This has been one of the more professional sets I've worked on - though the filming process was a little drug out due to inclement weather during weekend shoots.

I don't want to give too much away about the storyline, but the film encompasses racism and how it is very much still prevalent in today's society. And yes, there are skin heads in the movie.

A few weekends ago, I smoked my first cigarette. My character is almost always smoking ... I got some tips from other cast members, so I hope it comes across naturally, as I've never smoked cigarettes in my life.

We shot in Bar K Park in Lago Vista today, but the light faded fast as we tried to capture the last scene. Hopefully the lighting matches well-enough w/ the rest of the film and today truly was a wrap for shooting (fingers crossed)! The plan is to rent a venue where we'll have a viewing as well as a party. Anyone want to be my +1? It'd be cool if a red carpet was incorporated ... there was a great photography couple on set. I'll post more pictures once they're available (Above is the cover for the film).

I'm definitely becoming more comfortable with acting on camera - I'm still working on a web-series called, 'Rogue' where I play the lead role; Simon - a hipster kid who channels a dark god and develops certain powers (Check back for a trailer).

The master plan still remains to become a broadcast journalist - preferably on TV, but I could do radio too. I'm just not ready to give up on the dream of being an actor. Will you stick it out w/ me??

Clare

Alright, so this is a tad bit late, but Saturday, December 19 was my sister, Clare's 18th birthday.
Girlfriend did not celebrate by heading down the the corner gas station to pick up some Virginia Slims and a lottery ticket ... she got inked! She's so brave.
I already called to wish her a feliz de cumpleaños, but this entry will be completely dedicated to her.

Clare ...

You've always been the prettier of the two of us. Even that time I had to pull you out from under a table at daycare in Des Moines because you cut your hair - and to salvage your horrible cosmetology skills, Mom gave you some kind of bop haircut. You're gorgeous, and I'll always be here to tell you so.

Remember when we moved to Manchester and started adding on/renovating the house? You and I had to share that North bedroom, in that huge used-to-be-waterbed ... I always made such a big deal about having to sleep in the same bed, but you were so cute and never complained - even when I made my weird mouth noises in my sleep (I am still not admitting to it though!!). Then we had to sleep in the dining room while the bedrooms were getting carpet, and I made you listen to the 'Anamaniacs' CD all the time.

You and I loved to eat sliced cheese. When a commercial came on, we would run to the kitchen and try to skip over the tile entryway, grab a cheese slice, then run full force onto that plaid couch. And after watching some gameshow on Nickelodeon, we made states out of our cheese slices. And we played 'lava' a lot - Mom always had an annoying amount of throw pillows.

Before the basement was finished, we built some of the craziest forts ever. They had multiple bedrooms, a living room ... some real architectual oddities were built in that basement.

Oh! We hung out in the old barn so much! We would swing from that rope and chase around all sorts of kittens. Remember breaking all those florescent lights of Rick's?? We stomped on them because a cool white smoke came out ... I guess we never realized the hundreds of dollars we just wasted. Haha!

We drove around Grandma and Grandpa's farm on that huge, green lawn mower. And one time, I shifted it into drive too fast and you flipped off the back! Ahhh. You barely cried! Just went inside.

Whenever we went up to Dad's place in Minnesota, we would ride our bikes around the blocks forever - just encircling that park was our entertainment. Weird, right? Until you got rollerblades and a scooter - then we used a jump rope to pull each other behind the bike!

I was such a Nancy-boy in high school and you're this crazy, rebel-like young woman. You are so much further along in life than I ever thought about being when I was 18. It's weird that we became closer after I left for school. And even closer yet when I moved out of state.
I think about you all the time, Clare - but I'm never worried. You are so strong, confident and smart. You have a strong direction within you and I am really proud of you.
I miss you very much and truly cherish each time we're reunited.

I promise to always be here for you. And you know I'll make that 17 hour drive in 14 hours if you ever need me ASAP. This 18 years went by so quickly ... but I cannot wait for the next 18 and the 18 after and the 18 after and so on.

I love you, sister.

How to be a Villain

For a long time now, I've known that I was meant to be bigger than myself ... I knew I was born into this world for a greater purpose. I was meant to be a spy.
I mean, come on. Isn't it obvious?

I can run; pretty fast and pretty far. I run pretty too! :)
I can drive pretty much anything, and drive it fast! One time, I drove a 1987 Buick Century over a hump-set of railroad tracks by Fareway grocery store in my hometown at 50 mph. Yeah, airborn (I ended up doing the same w/ my Mom's Pontiac minivan once too) Get-aways will be easy!
I can fight; I punched out a Pacific Islander once. Gave him a swift kick to the head too. And those Pacific Islanders are tricky...
I own seasons one and two of ALIAS and the Bourne trilogy - I'm studying that shit all the time!
I'm quite the charmer too ... I'll have those boys falling for me left and right (sorry ladies).

So today, after setting up and decorating the Christmas tree that finally came in the mail, I started reading a book a friend gave me, titled, "How to be a Villain."
Chapter One was simply getting started w/ the forces of darkness. Like the benefits of being evil, choosing an evil name and deciding where to put your evil lair.
Did you know Darth Vader said, "If you only knew the power of the Dark Side... ?"
Well, Darth ... I'm learning!

Okay, so maybe I don't want to be a villain, but emphasize on spy, secret agent.
Someone once told me the best qualifications to be recruited are:
No parents.
No siblings.
Limited political involvement.

Well, shit.
Technically I have four parents. Mom, Dad, Stepdad, Dad's partner.
Siblings? Hmm ... I am the oldest of five.
Whatever - they can all keep a secret!
Political involvement? Please, I'm barely registered to vote.

Looks like I'm set, right?! I should be getting that letter any day now.

On Wednesday's we wear [ink].

I went to sleep after eating a peanut-butter-strawberry jelly sammich.
Waking up w/ peanut-butter breath isn't so great ... waking up to the 1930's plumbing loudly supplying shower-water to my roommate isn't the greatest either.
I canceled out the peanut-butter w/ a glass of orange juice.

Austin winter is weird - something I'm still not used to. My nose bled for like, ten minutes in the shower this morning, so the air must be getting thin. In Iowa, I would wake up w/ blood all over my pillows on occasion. Winter up there is tough, but I miss it.
I'll be returning for a five day stint on Tuesday the 22 (6 days!).

Today I actually had something to do ... a photoshoot w/ good friend, Amoriss. She's like Selma Hayek w/ better English. I love her.
We shot in historic downtown Round Rock ... but it was cold out and Amoriss is a girl w/ morals, so we weren't out there too long. Shot some cute pictures - they're posted to the left.

Driving through residential Round Rock is weird. Every house looks the same. Each one has a sad depiction of Christmas too. I guess I always associate Christmas w/ snow. It's usually one of my most favorite times of year. The snow blankets the hard, brown, ugly earth ... everything is clean, white ... forming a blur between Earth and the horizon. Like the 'softening' tool on Photoshop. Sorry, too techie?

So, to say the least, holiday season hasn't hit me yet ... and there is what, 9 days till Christmas??
The closest I've gotten to 'holiday spirit' is a dark chocolate-peppermint mocha coffee from The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf this morning (thanks for the gift card, Kaila!).
Mom claims to have sent me a Christmas tree. No, not a cute little tree you can put on an end table or countertop ... She and my sister Emily sent me a four and a half foot, prelit tree w/ ornaments to match my kitchen color scheme. Sweet, right?
Except it hasn't arrived!!
It'll probably come the morning I'm set to fly out to Iowa. Grrreat.

I got home from my shoot this afternoon and started bleeding on my sweater! Hence the title of this blog. Yeah! Hence! ... I'm two seconds from jogging down to Walgreen's for a tampon to shove up my nostril.